Are You Making These 9 Social Missteps, Boundary Mistakes and Taboos? Unleash Your Full Social Power and Rid Yourself of Social Anxiety for Good!

​Let’s face it, socializing today is difficult. 

We no longer have a few common shows on tv that everyone watches or select radio stations to listen to music. 

Everything has become so niche, which don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing and I love it but when it comes to connecting and socializing it becomes difficult. 

We don’t have those “oh did you watch the new episode of ~insert a show on a popular channel~ last night?” or “that new song on Z radio was great right?!”.

With everything being more niche, it can be difficult to socialize with people and even harder when you are dealing with friends and family who like to break boundaries and overstep. 

Trying to find your footing in any situation can be hard and made harder if you don’t know these common social missteps and aren’t implementing the “must dos” when engaging with people. 

Because if you’re like me, socializing can be hard, difficult, anxiety inducing or not knowing what to say.

You might find yourself wanting to talk to the people who look like sunshine is radiating from their faces but then find yourself gravitating towards the person alone in the corner or finding the person who looks like they might need to be saved or somehow sniffed out the toxic person so you spend your time with them rather than what you originally wanted. 

By not equipping yourself with the tools that will lead you to success and making meaningful connections, you will lead a life full of the same patterns of being walked on, overworked, tired, not making friends that you wanted or weren’t good for you or having your boundaries stepped on constantly. 

But once you no longer accept the unspoken “what ifs” of your untapped potential, you’ll finally be able to rise up and claim your divine power within!

Join the goddess movement and finally FEEL what it’s like to be a goddess!

Hello and welcome to the Goddess Energy Academy where I, Angel, help others awaken their power within to craft and create a life that is as beautiful and unique as the goddess that makes it. 

And one of the first steps to manifesting and keeping that life is the skill of successful socializing and strong boundaries. 

When you have mastered these two skills, being around people will feel like a breeze while also maintaining a calm, healthy, balanced internal state. 

This calm, balanced state is heightened even more when you have done the prior guides of figuring out who you are, who you want to become and the ways people (and yourself) can hinder your goals and progress of becoming your ideal you. 

By going through those guides, you begin to awaken your goddess-like self confidence and trust knowing that you will be everything you’ve ever dreamed. 

And since we are inherently social creatures, honing the art of socializing is only going to make everything easier. 

This doesn’t mean you have to be a social butterfly, unless of course you want to then by all means, read on to stretch those wings of yours!

But if that’s not your vibe, then no problem, this is meant to help give you the tools to be able to handle yourself in any social situation. 

So let's get to the guide of social missteps, strong boundaries and must dos!

9 Social Boundaries, Missteps & Must Does

#1)  Other people's emotions are not your concern unless you are outwardly abusing them (I know you, dear reader, are not one of those people but for posterity's sake). 

A lot of kind hearted people will go out of their way to make others feel good or comfortable. 

Which is good if you are hosting a party but there is only so much you can do for someone else to impact their true feelings. 

Some people just are deeply sad and everything you try to do won't help them because you have no idea what is truly making them feel that way. 
Same goes for the other emotions as well (angry, worried, anxiety, etc). 

Can you think of a time when someone tried to change your emotions but your emotions were too big that no one could sway you? Apply that logic to when interacting with others. 

Some people also don’t want their emotions to be changed and would rather be mad, angry, irritable, sad, etc than face their emotions to heal and change. 

And all you’re doing is wasting your emotions and energy on someone who doesn’t want your help. 

People are their own masters so you can’t decide how they should feel. Just like no one is going to or should do that to you.

#2)  Don’t try to save people, that’s their journey. 

And by saving them, you prolong the journey they need to go on (obviously there are expectations with this like kids, victims, innocence, animals, etc). 

This doesn’t mean to not be kind and warm, but to not go out of your way to try to solve all of their problems. 

This has been and still is a big issue with me (Any other Human Design Line 5’s out there lol?) because I always wanted to be saved growing up and when no one did, I became strong and resilient. 

Then I would often naturally gravitate towards wounded birds (always toxic too but that’s for another post) and would try to ease their pain or save them all the while burning and sacrificing myself for their happiness that they wont even internalize. 

A wonderful quote that helps sum this up is “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm because once you’re burnt to crisp, they’ll still complain of being cold”

And you don’t always know if who you are saving is actually a good person. Two people could be fighting and you might think one is a good person but once you step in and help, you find out that they were the one who was in the wrong. 

A great example of this is from the show Wednesday on Netflix where she has the knee jerk reaction to save the bullied kid (who reminded her of her little brother) who then tries to kill her later. 

Don’t project yourself onto other people.

#3) And with that, be choosy with who you spend your time with because people do change our view on life. 

If you are always around people who only see the negative in a situation or complain or argue, and you are a little ray of sunshine and optimism -  then their dark clouds will start to come into your blue sky atmosphere. 
    
And I'm not saying to be delusional if there are problems in your life, definitely address that - but some people can only see the down sides even when positive ones are present. 

And because we are social beings, we want to be liked and accepted by the group so you start to let their thoughts take home within you.

And you have to stop every time when that happens and ask, “Is this how I want to think? Are they someone I want to be like?”. 

#4)  Being you, your authentic you, is more charismatic than faking it and people pleasing. 

People on some level can tell when someone is faking it and if you are people pleasing. 

If you need help with people pleasing, please read this guide here - you’re worthy of finding strength and peace within yourself and people will love the real you. There is no reason to hide, sweet goddess.

Plus people will only like a fake version of you or know that you are doing it and will want to misuse you in some way. Not all humans are good humans.

#5)  It’s human nature to size each other up. So much so that there are many books and studies done on this to analyze why and how (you can do a quick google search and see what I mean).

It has to do with our animal brains and DNA that want to assess threat and power (which power isn’t inherently bad, it’s only bad if the person wielding it is bad) of how you will be.

Some people will test you right when they meet you to see what they can get away with or you trigger them deeply.

It is so important when you meet these people to not try to prove yourself to them by trying to make them like you. 

If they are being a jerk for no reason and won’t explain why they don’t like you, then just ignore them.

Mirror people. If they’re nice, be nice. If they’re cold, be cold back.

Don’t let them trigger you or walk over you and don’t try to win them over. 

If they’re being an asshole, why would you want them to like you? 

Plus you don’t want to associate with assholes. 

Associating with them will only lower your frequency (next guide coming out!), your vibe and your social value with other people who might know that person and be turned off with connecting with you because that person likes you.

Fight to NOT PROVE yourself to people. 

As soon as you do that, you automatically put them in the power to dictate your relationship. 

Have them PROVE themselves to you. 

Remember ~ Its not what they think about you, it’s what you think about them.

#6)  And if you’re worried about not being liked, understand that it is expected to not be liked by everyone! And it’s far better to be respected than only liked. 

Liked people still get treated poorly. I’m sure someone who liked you or even loved you still treated you like shit or you saw that happen between two people. 

That hardly ever happens when it comes to people that are respected and firm within themselves to not take any bull from anyone.

#7)  This doesn’t mean to be aggressive or cold. Be polite and firm. 

Be that protective mom to yourself by making sure people don’t make fun (in a bad way) or disrespect you while not being overly aggressive. 

This was something that took me a long time (and still working on) due to not having a mother that acted like this. 

If you also didn’t have a present, loving, health protective mother - my heart weeps for you because that pain can echo within your heart for decades.

I read in some self help book a few months back that you don’t have to have an external mother or best friend. 

You can be your own mother by caring about yourself and always having your best interest at heart. This comes easier if you’ve worked on your self concept (blog linked above). 

When someone disrespects you, think about if someone talked to your child or someone you love deeply, how would you respond? 

Hopefully being stern with the other person and stating a boundary with them and you. 

If they don’t respect your boundaries then you have to be the adult and remove yourself from that situation until it can be honored.     

#8) Find your power and become someone to respect by not bowing to anyone. Know your boundaries and don’t over share right away. 

You don’t know if your thoughts and feelings will be respected or safe with new people. 

Find people who respect you and you respect them to see if you can share safely and that they can share with you. Start small and see if anything happens (i.e. they share it with someone else or throw it in your face in a disagreement).

One person shouldn’t be able to be everything to you. 

This goes for friends, family members and partners. 

There are going to be few friends who you can share your personal life with and there will be other friends who are just your “having fun” friends or “hobby” friends or “travel” friends. 

AND THAT’S NORMAL!

We all need a lot of different things in our life to make it feel whole and having one person bear that entire load while also dealing with their life is a big ask. 

By intuitively picking specific people to fill certain roles, eases the load and makes everything so much easier and better.  

You respect yourself more, the people in your life more and have a better connection with those around you. 
    
#9)  Always respect your time, energy and space. 

Do so with those chosen few who do that for you too. 

If someone isn’t honoring you like you are with them then you don’t need to honor them the same way.

Don’t over commit if you don’t have the time, money or energy. And don’t over do it with being at someone's beck and call who can’t even pick up your phone call. 



CONCLUSION 
This might seem like a lot and for many of you like you are becoming cold but please know that by following these steps does NOT make you more cold but rather just give you back your energy that placed in people who don’t want you to thrive. 

The majority of people are decent people but there are bad eggs out there who are constantly looking for sweet, kind people to take advantage of and they are really good at hiding their intentions.

So much so that they don’t even realize they are the bad egg but once you finally respect yourself and start to cut the toxicity out of your life, the more energy and love and time you can give to those around you and yourself!

Some people like to make others dance for them but you’re a goddess and no one makes you do anything you don’t want to and only bestows your love and attention to those who appreciate your presence. 

By accepting your power and working on fine tuning your social presence you start to awaken your slumbering goddess.

And as she wakes, ask yourself, “what could I become and accomplish if I embraced the energy of the goddess within?” because I for one would love to see who you become.

Remember that you are beyond worthy of anything you want in life.

Let’s stick together and cheer each other on my fellow goddess!

I believe in you sweet soul and until next time, I wish you peace, strength and hope.

~Love Angel