 Have you ever seen someone go after their dreams with gusto and confidence.. Where if you were in their shoes, you’d be a little embarrassed or shy or confused on how they generate the energy to go after it? How some people seem so unbothered about what anyone thinks of them or their life choices? Whether or not it’s something you’d want to do is irrelevant but just the fact they go after it and are seemingly fulfilled by it? Well that super power, my fellow goddess, is easier than you might think. This guide will help show you how to be unbothered by what other people think about your choices and how to prove that you already possess the confidence to go after your goals. To show that no one else’s opinion about your life should ever take place within you. People can only see a small part of who you are and can only see your life’s vision through their eyes and their life’s experiences (which is completely different from your own). You are completely different from them and as long as you know why you are doing what you want (and it’s in the best interest of you and your future) then disregard what other people have to say. How you might be asking? Well keep reading and find out the super simple mindset to unlock your greatness. STORY TIME Let me first share with you one of my experiences so you know that I have actually practiced what I’m preaching here. Way back in 2019, I had just completed college and was going out into the workforce. I was burnt out from working 5 jobs to put myself through college and was looking down the barrel of engineering work in a stuffy lab and my weekends filled with Army duties. I found that I wasn’t fulfilled by either of the choices I made and wanted something that was more inline with who I wanted to be and not what I had become. Around this time my husband showed me YouTube and my life was forever changed. I thought it was so cool that everyday people could make videos and connect with people across the world on niche topics. So I figured why not try it myself? I didn’t have to tell anyone right away (besides my husband) and that it would just be an escape from the rigidity I had through my job and military commitments. Even though I didn’t really know what I was doing, I wanted to try it out because I felt inside that it would be a way for me to tackle my insecurities about my looks, my practice and my personality. It also was something that was so completely different than who I was that it was going to be a massive challenge that would result in me knowing something more about myself (good or bad). It was very difficult for me to let my inner self come out when externally I was (and still am) an engineer and was in the army all the while talking about spiritualism and sharing my soul with random people on the internet. When I finally had around 5 thousand subscribers I finally told some friends and family hoping to share my excitement with them on how cool this all was. To only be met with mockery or asked why I would do that or wasn’t I embarrassed? Or they just didn’t believe that I could make anything of it. If I had let those people’s negative opinions or the hate or the anxiety or the misunderstandings take weight in my brain and stopped YouTube, I wouldn’t be who I am today and who I am today is someone that little me would have only dreamed of becoming. I am more “me” and more confident and stronger than I could’ve ever imagined and it was all because I took a chance and listened to myself and trusted that I would figure it out. And even though I don’t do YouTube anymore (maybe in the future I’ll go back), I don’t feel like a failure because I learned so much from going on that journey and have gained such an incredible insight into what life could be. I proved to myself that anything is possible if I believe it to be true. Even going on this current journey of becoming a writer and hosting my own website to reach out to fellow goddesses and hopefully help people, is something that I am getting a lot of push back on from those close to me. “You’ve never written before, why are you doing this?” “You’re dyslexic and deulu, no one is going to listen to you.” And even though I proved them wrong by not only gaining 13 THOUSAND subscribers (I know it’s not 100 thousand or anything crazy but the fact that even 1 thousand people liked my content enough was enough for me) on one of my channels, i also matched my engineering monthly salary through my YouTube channel revenue on two different months. Even with those benchmarks, which to me meant success, didn’t really hit with those around me. It’s wild that when they finally believed in my ability as a small youtuber, they couldn’t extend that example with this journey I’m on now and proves how no one is going to see what you see and that’s ok! I don’t need anyone to understand why I want to be a writer or have anyone believe in me because.. Having faith in YOU and knowing that YOU got YOU is more than enough to work towards your dream life because you can see it. And if you can see it, you can achieve it babe. And if you do need someone to believe in you, have faith knowing some girl (aka me 🙂) BELIEVES IN YOU!! Let me be your little personal cheerleader for your happy, ideal life! Hopefully my little example above eases your hesitation about fearlessly going after what you want because I didn’t die from persevering, even though my nervous system thought I was, and I no longer feel any shame or embarrassment. STEPS Because I am loving who I am becoming and can’t wait to see who I continue to become. And I want you to feel the exact same way about yourself because I can’t wait to meet the real, powerful you! So with that, let's get into the steps. Step 1 : Make sure you have a solid ideal you or dream that you want to achieve and have a firm reason why. For more information, check out this blog post here. Please don’t skip this step. If you don’t have some idea of who you want to be and a good reason why that connects with your soul then the following steps just aren’t going to work. Trust me, I’ve tried this countless times with weak, half hearted dreams and all I got were lessons on how to not do this lmfao But had I not gone on that journey, I wouldn’t be here trying to help you out :) Step 2 : List down every single worry, worst case scenario, concern, possible fear that you may have. Even if it’s “stupid”, write it down. It can be anything like
If it’s a worry about how people might think of you, write it down. My next post is going to be about people pleasing and ways to break that habit for good because all it does is harm you and keep your face pressed to the mud. It's not as wonderful as it seems when you do this. You deserve more sweet goddess! I’m not going to go into it now because it’s a huge topic and really important so sign up for my newsletter so you know when it drops next week or follow my social media pages to get the scoop! I will go over an example of one of my deep rooted fears that this lesson helped me overcome and reduce my anxiety by at least ten fold in the next step. Step 3 : For each worry and concern, write out why you might have that worry?
Was it a childhood traumatic event? Was it something someone else said to you? A quick tip here : a lot of our negative voices in our head that are shaming and putting you down are actually the voices of someone from your past who have said those words or made you feel that way before. Those words might feel like they’re yours when in fact they aren’t. Children aren’t born with negativity laced in their thoughts, they are given it by those around them like parents, family, bullies, teachers, coworkers and so on. When a negative thought comes up, take a second (now or later) to think of when you first started to feel this way and was someone around who made you feel like that? It can help you release that thought and feeling now knowing that those words and feelings are NOT yours but rather someone else’s pain that they decided to plant in you. Remember for all the peoples opinions that you write down, remind yourself these things
Would you rather make yourself happy or someone who doesn’t understand you and is not going to be around when you die? For concerns that aren’t people related, it’s a lot easier to dig into the worst case scenario and see it isn’t as life ending as it might feel. Let me share with you one of my fears that I had when I wanted to start a side hustle. Please keep in mind that in my upbringing we were very poor and this fear felt like it was embedded in my DNA.. One of my big fears that was manifesting as anxiety and procrastination was the fear that I was going to be poor again by going on this journey. So I wrote down, “I am afraid that by going on this journey, I will lose everything that I worked for and will end up on the streets with no food again.” Then I continued to write out a lot more personal stuff that is too personal to share here but dove deep into more experiences about how it made me feel. Then I wrote how I made it this far and have built up what I have now and asked myself “You were able to create this life now, could you not redo it and create it again?” To which of course I knew I would be able to. I then went on to the following steps and will continue this example below. Step 4 : Write the positive opposite of each worst case scenario you just wrote because you aren’t a mind reader and you can’t tell the future (even if the tarot cards say something different ;) ). Write opposites like
Being your authentic self is something to be proud of because it takes courage to stand tall and say what you want because most people are too afraid to not go with the flow of the status quo. Step 5 : Write down how you would make sure to either not let the negativity affect you or if something tangible, how you will create safeguards and limit risk to make sure you won’t ever come close to your fears above. Back to my example from step 3, I wrote out all the ways that I would make sure to reduce the risk of EVER coming remotely close to having that happen again. Because I’ve gone on that journey, I already had a blueprint on how to not let that happen again and found confidence in myself that I am smart enough to not make any massive mistakes that would make me go back there. I learned a lot by getting to where I am now and know I won’t make any of the mistakes I made before. I then wrote out what I wanted to learn in order to help me make sure to see risk better (like understanding basic investing, saving, budgeting, paying down debt the right way, how to build a business with little risk, etc). And slowly I started to read online and buy books at the thrift shop to build my skills around money so I no longer was held back by this fear but instead became empowered by it. You can add to your plan to read books and posts or watch videos on how to be a better communicator or to heal your trauma or heal your relationship with food or to help increase your confidence through body language. Take time building this out and come back to in the future for motivation, relief or adding to the plan. You are worthy of all the success and love and dreams you’ve had or will have for yourself! You just have to have enough faith to take the first step and the first step is to simply WRITE! CONCLUSION No one is going to understand you and that’s your superpower. Do what you think is best for you because you know why and what you’re fighting for. At the end of the day, you are going to really be left with yourself and your thoughts. Do you want to live for those temporary people or do you want to live for you? Closing Remember that you are beyond worthy of anything you want in life. Let’s stick together and cheer each other on my fellow goddess! I believe in you sweet soul and until next time, I wish you peace, strength and hope. ~Love Angel
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